Wellbeing

Looking after yourself is the most important job of all, if you became unwell or weren’t able to support your loved one with a substance issue they would have to find a way of looking after themselves and if they haven’t learnt how to do this, as you have always looked after and supported them, then this will be a huge learning curve for them.

Looking after yourself is not being selfish its about looking after your mental and physical wellbeing so that you can (if you want to ) continue your caring role with more patience and energy.

 When we are worn out and exhausted we can become impatient, less empathetic, resentful and angry, so giving ourselves time to do the things that we either enjoy or want to do will give us some space in our caring role.

Taking time to exercise is important to de-stress and get some serotonin into your body, either by walking, running, dancing anything that increases your heart rate and gives you some pleasure.

Looking after your mind – Mindfulness or meditation are useful techniques when you are feeling overwhelmed. Practicing mindfulness on a daily basis as part of a routine can give some respite to the over active thoughts that drive stress and anxiety.

Do something you enjoy – this can be anything from gardening, socialising, being in nature, reading, listening to music, yoga

Being kind to yourself - sometimes life is tough and being critical of yourself is not helpful, instead of “I should have….”, “this is all my fault” How about changing to “ I did what I thought was best at the time” and everyone is responsible for themselves and no matter how much you feel it maybe all your fault the reality is that it isn’t. Learning to see the facts of the situation rather than how you feel is very important.

For instance if your loved one didn’t pay their rent, your thoughts may be working over time by saying, “I should have given the money to pay the rent, they are going to get evicted from their home and then they will be homeless and they will be in danger because they will be living on the streets, they will be cold, hungry, at risk, doing risky things…….and its all my fault.” This is a huge burden to be carrying.

Firstly, it is the person who is living in the accommodation who has to pay the rent and this is not your responsibility, but, your thoughts have then spiraled to a place that hasn’t happened.

So the facts are – they haven’t paid their rent

Your thoughts are – its my fault, they are going to be homeless, they will be in danger, cold, hungry, at risk, all these things haven’t happened but the fear drives the thoughts. When you can see that you are going down a negative thought spiral you could intervene and ask yourself what is fact and what is thought before carrying on.